drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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