I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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