I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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