zippers are such a cool invention
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
where are you?
Hypothermia
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
