check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
