How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
