im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
