At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
