Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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