They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
