As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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