PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
