Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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