Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
