first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
