then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
No subtext here. People are naked.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My feet surprised me
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