Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
