is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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