he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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