so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
