This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
