I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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