I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
