take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
