i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
