Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
