i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
