to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
