i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
