Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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