or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
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I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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