I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
