i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
