D3 body, D1 cock
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i think i have two assholes
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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