I wish my penis had an off switch
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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