Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
