There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
