my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
