there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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