even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
