i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
