While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
