So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
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No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
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I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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