Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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