I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
wow bdsm is so cute
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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