Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
