awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Randomize
