Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
so explain again why im purple
no
id be glad to
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
