I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize