I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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