My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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