good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
