i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
