i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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