"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
