Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
