you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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