you're like a bully in the Christmas story
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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