I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
