Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
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And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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