Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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