tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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