idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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