i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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