Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
