this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
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Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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