so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
