North Korea, Best Korea!
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
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