never play flip cup with pint glasses
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
