All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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