I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
