My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
