yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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