so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
